Beep!
That was not the sound of a cursor filter in the game nor a fire alarm with a low battery. A small hand held device lays next to some 30 round MP5 magazines. It lights up a bright red led once the beep is sounded alongside a lcd timer. Chiara aims her submachine gun at the targets and gives burst fire on the target, attempting to replicate the Mozambique drill she saw at Vampire Squad’s base. Two burst to the chest, one burst in the head. Her hits were getting the mark but accuracy was not good enough for Chiara. She looks down and whines in frustration. “Ugh! I’m two seconds too slow!” Her hands frantically reach for another magazine, not completely loaded to 30 rounds but just enough to practice the next drill where she’ll take two shots until empty and quickly draw her pistol. She switches the fire control to semi-auto and lowers her submachine gun to the lower ready position. Again, she resets her shot timer and stands by for the cue. Beep! She lifts her submachine gun and taps two shots at the target in semi-auto as quickly as she can. She makes her two shots which isn’t difficult but switching to her pistol from her leg holster is a hassle for Chiara. She’s unsure if she should let go of her submachine and let the sling hold on while she reaches for her pistol. The weight of the submachine gun along with the bulk of her carrier makes the simple act of reaching for her TX22 Compact clumsy. Her hand reaches into her leg holster which is already very low for her to carry her pistol and draws it out taking a single shot at the target before lowering her fire stance. “Eight seconds… I’m never going to be fast enough!” Chiara re-holsters her pistol and lays her MP5 on the firing range table in front of her, the barrel pointed safely towards the target and she slumps her head against the target controls on her left side of her designated firing range. Emi closes the door behind her with her electronic protective hearing headphones on. She approaches Chiara from behind and lowers her noise isolation pedometer on her headset.
“Hey Chiara. Don’t you think you should give it a rest.” Emi looks over at Chiara’s fatigued and anxious behavior. It’s not the first time she’s seen Chiara like this. Her parents were always expecting so much from Chiara that sometimes, she would just break down in front of Emi from all the stress of doing her best in academics and in her piano lessons. “You can’t burn yourself out like this. Why don’t you give it a rest?”
“No! I have to get good now or I’m never going to be good.” Chiara cries in frustration. Her mind goes back to everything Asura had told her about her squad never having a chance to face Vampire Squad. She thinks about her brutal defeat where she had to lead Armadillo Squad all by herself.
“Chiara.” Emi steps up cautiously. She can clearly see the exhaustion in Chiara’s face. “You’re pushing yourself too much over a video game! I could understand wanting to get better at your academics or music but this is all just a distraction for us. We’re doing this for fun. Remember?”
“What’s so fun about losing?” Chiara mumbles under her breath with deep contempt. “What’s the point of all this if it’s just for fun? We’re not doing this just for fun.”
“What’s got into you? You were the one who suggested we play this game because it might be interesting. We got to meet Mai and Hikari. They are as good friends to you as I am. We befriended Longhorn Squad. Tomio, Kimberly, Fio, and Ramirez.” Emi attempts to talk some sense into Chiara. “We don’t have to win this tournament. It would be nice if we could, but we already have the best prize anyone could ever ask for. Each other.”
“That doesn’t matter, Emi!” Chiara whines to her angsty voice. “We worked so hard just for us to lose in the second bracket!
Mai enters the firing range with Hikari by her side. She’s holding her refurbished SKS in its brand new Tapco stock. “Hey! What’s going on Chiara?” She confronts her unassumingly.
“I’m not good enough, Mai! No matter how hard I try and try, I can’t get good enough to beat our opponents. I…” When Chiara turns around to face Mai and Hikari, her teary eyes look a bit confused by Mai’s “new” rifle. “Uh…what on earth is that?”
“Oh…this?” Mai raises her rifle in front of her. “It’s my Type 56 Carbine all patched up.”
Chiara frowns and lowers her glance. “Oh…right…it’s my fault that your rifle was damaged too. Why do I have to be a liability to everyone!”
“We never thought you were a liability to us, Chiara. We all fucked up that night. The blame isn’t on you.”
Chiara looked away, her fists clenching against the wall of her shooting lane. “Maybe you don’t think so, but I do!” Her voice cracked. “You all are always so confident; acting as if you got yourselves all figured out!”
Hikari stepped forward, crossing her arms. “Oh shut up, Chiara! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! We all have our bad habits. We aren’t perfect like you think we are. Nobody is. Didn’t they teach you that in Elementary school?” Hikari puts on a serious face. “Nobody is asking for perfection here, Chiara. Mai’s not perfect and neither am I.”
Mai nods before looking at Chiara. “And she’s right. I may be smart, but I’m anything but adaptable. I am too frugal for my own good. I’m afraid to take risks and invest in opportunities, Chiara. I have to work on myself even with all this Mil-Sim and engineering school shit. It’s not easy, Chiara! Sometimes I wish I could drop out and relax, but unlike most people, this is my only way to ensure a better future for myself.” Mai glares at Chiara. “You’re acting the last match was the biggest loss of your life. Big deal. That's the most stupid thing to get upset over! We lost against Longhorn Squad and you weren’t crying then. These matches are meaningless. You never felt a real loss in your life Chiara. You are sheltered! You never lost a friend or someone who loved you so much like I had.” Mai lets out a heavy sigh while rubbing her forehead. “Damn it, Chiara. You even got me worked up.”
Chiara's eyes welled up with frustration as she turned her glance away from Mai. She can feel everyone’s attention on her. It’s like her own personal hell of being judged for every movement, every breath she makes. It’s different from the feeling of being watched when she’s performing with her piano in front of students and parents who are focused on her musical abilities. This time, she’s being judged for her character; by her only friends no less. She feels a little guilty for trying to shame Mai and Hikari to feel sorry for her own struggles. But there’s one thing that’s been bothering her that Asura’s words had poisoned into her mind. Her own friendship with Emi. “And what about you?” She looks at Emi who is surprised by Chiara’s emotionally snarky remarks. “Squad leader, track star, so perfect at everything, you even got to reunite with your childhood friend!”
“Chiara, what are you saying?!” Emi scoffs. “You know I’ve always been there for you since our high school years. I defended you, supported you, and I worry about you all the time.”
“You're replacing me, Emi!” Chiara accuses Emi, much to the shock of everyone in the shooting range
Emi gets visually offended and snaps back at her. “Chaira! What are you talking about?! I’m not replacing you! You’ve saved us in that last match against Kraken and Glam Squad.” Emi recalled to Chiara. “We couldn’t have won that match without your stunt. You’re the reason why we are even taking on Vampire and JarPig Squad this upcoming round. There’s no way I would ever consider replacing you! You’re my best friend!”
“The only reason I was able to pull that off was because you weren’t there to save me! You abandoned me! Just like you abandoned me on that Friday night when we were supposed to practice together!”
“Chiara, I was injured and in the hospital! That was completely out of my control!”
“Tomio was there with you too!”
“So? He’s a friend looking out for me. Does that bother you, Chiara?”
Chiara doesn’t say anything. She give Emi and disappointed glance and rolls her eyes at her.
“Chiara! ” Emi snaps furiously. “Does that bother you? That I’m friends with Tomio.”
“Friendship is built upon transactions, Emi.” Chiara explains coldly. “That’s how the real world operates. It’s a cruel and sadistic nightmare of people just waiting to let you down and take advantage of you.”
“Like what you are trying to do to us now?” Mai interjects. “Don’t tell me you’ve been buying into that nihilistic sigma grind crap. The world is awful. Nobody denies that. You don’t have to subscribe to that mindset, Chiara. It’s total garbage and you know it!”
“Who’s been putting all these ideas in your head?” Emi approaches Chiara, making her back off a bit. “You’ve changed, Chiara.”
“The only thing that changed is I understand everything now. I can’t be a burden or a side character to….all this…..whatever you call our friendship. It’s clear that you don’t care about me, so I’m going to go my own way.”
“Don’t be stupid, Chiara!” Emi grabs Chiara by the shoulder when she notices she’s about to walk away from them. “You’re not a burden. You’ll never be a burden to us. You’ve been going your own way for your entire life and you never realized it. You can’t handle the world all by yourself. We need you Chiara, and you need us. You’re our scout! You’re my best friend!”
“No, you don’t need me,” Chiara whispered hoarsely. “You have Mai, Hikari, Tomio and his Longhorn Squad. You don’t have room for a dysfunctional girl like me.” She shakes Emi’s hand off her shoulder. “I’m done with this squad.” She picks up her gear and packs it into her gun case before leaving the range.
“Chiara, I swear if you dare leave us behind, you’re going to be alone all over again! We care about you, Chiara! Chiara!!! Don’t go!” Despite Emi’s pleas, Chiara says nothing and leaves the shooting range. “Fuck!” She swears openly. Mai and Hikari are just speechless from the whole ordeal, let alone from seeing Emi’s usually cool demeanor break in front of them as she breaks down into a sob.
Emi places her hands over her face to cover her eyes. She doesn’t want to appear emotional in front of her friends but the moment is too much for her and she can’t hide it anymore. She lets out a sigh to help herself relax and speak calmly when she lowers her hands to speak. “Well…that’s it…” Emi speaks with an almost shaky voice. “Chiara isn’t going to play with us anymore.”
“What are we going to do now?” Hikari speaks with a soft, hurting voice. “We’re short of a member now. There’s no way we can compete like this.”
“I...I’ll try to figure something out.” Emi attempts to reassure her squad mates. “Do you think we can still do this tournament without Chiara?” She raises her hands to her forehead. “Damn, I have a headache now.”
Mai is the first to speak up after a bit of silence between the three of them. “I’m going to be honest with you, Emi. Just like I said a while back, I don’t think our squad has what it takes to win this tournament. We have a lot to work on that goes beyond basic fundamentals that we learned in basic training.”
“Is it even worth it to stress over this tournament?” Emi asks sincerely. “We don’t have to do any of this if it’s stressing us out like Chiara. We all have our majors we have to deal with. The last thing any of us need is more stress in our lives.” Emi nods her head to Hikari and Mai. “I understand if you all want to quit too. I will respect your choice. We’ll all still be friends, either way.”
“Well. No. I don’t think so.” Mai elaborates further. “You know it’s been kind of entertaining to be a participant in this tournament. I always wanted to join the last tournament back when I was in Kraken PMC but that never worked out. We made it past the first bracket. That’s somewhat telling of our squad’s perseverance, right?”
“I’m in it to win it.” Hikari speaks up with determination in her eyes. “I want to win just as much as Chiara did. But I’m willing to accept defeat with some dignity unlike her if it’s inevitable.” She smiles at Emi. “Besides, It’s been an honor playing with you all and Longhorn Squad. This is the most excitement I’d ever felt in my life, playing this game that I didn’t even think I would like. I would have been bored on weekends or blowing my money on local outlets if it weren’t for everything we’ve done together so far.”
“You heard it from us.” Mai speaks directly to Emi. “Are you still game?”
Emi had to think carefully about her answer. The whole reason she even bothered playing Mil-Sim Story was because of Chiara’s suggestion. Tomio’s enthusiasm was also an incentive to join them as partners in the fall tournament. She feels relief that Mai and Hikari are willing to do their part for the squad. She knows from their own confirmation that they will not break down like Chiara. It’s not just the fact that Chiara had quit the squad that bothers Emi. She feels like their close friendship has been fractured like a frag grenade. Emi knows it’s going to be hard if not impossible to win back Chiara’s friendship. But it’s not something she can sulk over for long. She has to move on. Armadillo Squad is just too small to be taken seriously. Emi clears her throat and gives her answer. “Yeah...I’m still game. I will continue to be your squad leader till the very end.”
“Wahoo!” Mai cheers. “You know, I think we’re all kind of dysfunctional in our own way, but somehow, we haven’t gone at each other’s throats. I think we do have something worth fighting for...right?”
“True.” Hikari nods with her hands under her chin as she thinks. “But the three of us are not enough. Even when we had Chiara, we didn't have other members who could fill in the ranks. Not having Emi around during that practice match against Vampire and JarPig Squad was quite inconvenient.”
“You’re both right.” Emi noted, finally being cool and collected again. “We need more talent in our squad. Armadillo Squad, and Longhorn Squad need to expand. We need more members.”
“How do you suppose we do that?” Hikari asks.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to try to figure something out.” Emi ponders to herself. “I’ll go around asking some people on campus and hope for the best if I have to.”
“You should take some cues from Zander.” Mai interjected. “Say what you want about him, but he’s got a productive PMC group outside of his three other squad mates. They got a whole functional base, training facility and credit earning business doing mission contracts in Mil-Sim Story. We should try to follow their example of running our team if we’re going to be taken seriously.”
“Damn, I never realized we could get such an operation running.” Emi's face shows intrigue from how impressed she feels about Zander’s squad. “This game has everything. Even a functional economy.”
“That’s escapism for you, Emi!” Mai says with a chuckle. “This game is a way for some people to live their soldier of fortune fantasy. Some people come here for the simulated battles and all that but for people like Zander and potentially our adversaries in this tournament, it’s a management sim too. Just think of all the stuff we can buy and equip if we start making some sustainable income.”
“Ha! I like the sound of that.” Hikari notes. “Reminds me a lot of how my family runs their hospital chains in Japan.”
“Good suggestions. I think that might be Markus’ expertise. Right now, we need to find someone to take Chiara’s place."
"Good point." Mai gives her a thumbs up. “Let’s try to get some more Armadillos while we are at it. We're going to have so many members and maybe even some nice guys too." She nudges Hikari while smirking. “Wouldn’t that be neato?”
Hikari sighs. “Sure...I suppose that would be a plus. But getting back on topic, we can’t just accept anyone in our squad. We’ll have to bring people who want to do something better for themselves and for the squad. They have to get along with everyone in Armadillo and Longhorn Squad. They don’t have to be highly skilled but they should be highly motivated.”
“I'll keep that in mind.” Emi smiles while looking at the clock on the shooting range wall. “I’ll see what we can do. In the meantime, it’s getting late already. We all have class tomorrow and for the rest of the week. I might have some time off seeing as I’m injured and can’t do track practice with my leg. I’ll be on Mil-Sim Story, trying to get things done to give us any help we can get before our match in two weeks.”
“Hikari and I can’t make promises to join you on the weekdays.” Mai further suggests to Emi. “But if we have some time to spare after finishing our homework and assignments, we’ll give you a call.”
“Thank you both. For now, get some rest, try not to worry too much about this game. We all have to do well in college too.” Hikari and Mai both give Emi a hug before getting ready to log off. Mai looks at Emi one last time before asking.
“Hey, Emi. Are you going to be fine without Chiara? If you need some company, you can always find Hikari and me on campus for lunch, breakfast, or whatever.”
Emi hesitates for a moment but replies to Mai. “I’ll do what I can to be in good spirits. I’m a Psychology major. I’m supposed to be in good mental health in order to help those in need. But if anything were to bother me, I’m more than grateful to let you both know.”
“You’re more than welcome, Emi.” Hikari assures her. “And just so you know, it hurts us both to see Chiara go. Even though we didn’t know her as long as you did, she was special to us too. I hope she can come back to her senses someday.”
“Maybe she’s just on her period.” Mai shrugged casually.
“Nah, she wouldn’t act this badly.” Emi corrected Mai with a chuckle. “Chiara was usually very reserved and quiet. This outburst from her today is not ordinary I can assure you.”
Mai sighed, shaking her head. “Yeah, I figured. Whatever is going on with her, it’s deeper than just a bad mood. I just hope she’s okay, you know?”
“Yeah, let’s hope so. Maybe she just needs time to herself.” Emi unhooks her plate carrier and throws it over her shoulder. Have a good night you two.”
“Good night, Emi.” Mai waves at her. “We'll see you soon, Trackstar!”
“Remember, you still have us if anything.” Hikari also mentioned. “Stay strong for us Emi, and we’ll do the same.”
The two of them log off and disappear into the void. Emi is now all alone by herself. She doesn’t waste time grieving about her friend leaving her. It’s not the first time this has happened to her in her life but it’s the first time Chiara had left her. Deep down, she knows she’s going to have trouble sleeping tonight but she has to stay determined. She has class tomorrow and will have plenty of time to worry about Mil-Sim Story later. She’s going to have to ask for help. But who could she ask?